can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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