i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize