we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
