there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
