What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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