theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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