My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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