I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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