oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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