i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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