All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
