I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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