I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
