Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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