Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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