My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
