im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
tell me about the eggs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
