The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
