Someone shit on the floor
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
