can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We are all done wearing pants today
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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