Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize