i just had sex bonerless
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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