I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.