i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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