i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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