One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We are two peas in an std pod
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
