Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize