I want to stick my p in your. b.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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