What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
