Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize