My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
