your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
