My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
