So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
