It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
