i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
