i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
