Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
