Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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