swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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