I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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