I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
