I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
