i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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