somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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