I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My vagina just clenched in fear
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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