Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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