meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
tell me about the fingering
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