I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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