then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
