i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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