I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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