He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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