I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
