You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
