there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
