I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
