I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
two words: eviction party
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
