he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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