So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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