You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
