Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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