i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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