im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
