I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
