Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
