Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
