I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
